As the winner of last year's office Oscar pool, I am here to help you take home the gold in your game of chance. Oh please, you don't have to thank me. You're embarrassing me with your heapings of endless praise.
2009 was a brutal - absolutely brutal - year for film. There can be no greater proof of this than "Avatar" and "The Hurt Locker" being lauded as great filmmaking. "Avatar" is technically spectacular but the story is mundane. "The Hurt Locker" is a very good film, but great? Not even close. What's most fascinating to me about these two, and I haven't seen anyone else mention this, is that they both deal with the war on Iraq, even if only "Hurt Locker" says it out loud.
My picks are italicized.
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Jeff Bridges, "Crazy Heart"
George Clooney, "Up in the Air"
Colin Firth, "A Single Man"
Morgan Freeman, "Invictus"
Jeremy Renner, "The Hurt Locker"
There are two great performances here and they belong to Bridges and Firth. Clooney plays Clooney. Again. Freeman is good. Renner is decent. No doubt Bridges will win it but Firth's performance is the overlooked gem in the group. Yeah, I know that you can't call it overlooked if it is nominated but how many of you have seen the film? You. Way in the back. You can put your hand down. Bridges' performance, and just as importantly, his previously unrewarded career, clinches the win.
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Matt Damon, "Invictus"
Woody Harrelson, "The Messenger"
Christopher Plummer, "The Last Station"
Stanley Tucci, "The Lovely Bones"
Christoph Waltz, "Inglourious Basterds"
A particularly weak group, maybe the weakest of all the nominated categories, but I admit that Christoph Waltz is a spectacular 'basterd' and he channels the craziness of Tarantino beautifully. His performance is a career-maker and his loss here would be an enormous upset.
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Sandra Bullock, "The Blind Side"
Helen Mirren, "The Last Station"
Carey Mulligan, "An Education"
Gabourey Sidibe, "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire"
Meryl Streep, "Julie & Julia"
I know it's getting to be an old song but Streep IS Julia Child. Her performance is the best here but everyone is getting bored to death with honoring her over and over. She deserves it but is unlikely to get it. Mirren is her usual solid self, Sidibe does a real nice job but because of all the praise going elsewhere in the cast she has been deemed the forgettable "weak sister". Mulligan probably gives the second best performance but she has to wait her turn. This brings us to Ms. Bullock. I'm one of those that really bought into "The Blind Side" but not because of her performance. I just felt it to be a Hollywood formula that surprisingly worked. Since someone is going to get honored for the film, it might as well be the congenial gal.
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Penélope Cruz, "Nine"
Vera Farmiga, "Up in the Air"
Maggie Gyllenhaal, "Crazy Heart"
Anna Kendrick, "Up in the Air"
Mo'Nique, "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire"
If this was Performance By a Gorgeous Naked Actress in a Supporting Role, the statue would have already been delivered to Ms. Cruz. Since that is not the case, it's all Mo'Nique's.
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM OF THE YEAR
"Coraline", Henry Selick
"Fantastic Mr. Fox", Wes Anderson
"The Princess and the Frog", John Musker and Ron Clements
"The Secret of Kells", Tomm Moore
"Up", Pete Docter
"Up" is one of those so-called locks, so I'll assume it's a winner.
ACHIEVEMENT IN ART DIRECTION
"Avatar"
"The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus"
"Nine"
"Sherlock Holmes"
"The Young Victoria"
If "Avatar" doesn't win this, it will be a joke. It's the one award it truly deserves, although I am partial to the "Doctor" in this category, as well.
ACHIEVEMENT IN CINEMATOGRAPHY
"Avatar"
"Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince"
"The Hurt Locker"
"Inglourious Basterds"
"The White Ribbon"
This category really annoys me. "The White Ribbon" is one of my all-time favorites as far as cinematography, and should win this easily, but it won't. The question is whether it's "Avatar" or "The Hurt Locker". Even though I don't have a clue how to assess cinematography in a cartoon, I'm guessing that the voters won't understand it either and give "Avatar" the nod.
ACHIEVEMENT IN COSTUME DESIGN
"Bright Star"
"Coco Before Chanel"
"The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus"
"Nine"
"The Young Victoria"
One of those awards that I don't spend much time on but my sources are telling me that Victoria will be victorious.
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
"Burma VJ"
"The Cove"
"Food, Inc."
"The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers"
"Which Way Home"
The Ellsberg flick is probably the best but everyone says it will be the bloody, gruesome "Cove".
ACHIEVEMENT IN FILM EDITING
"Avatar"
"District 9"
"The Hurt Locker"
"Inglourious Basterds"
"Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire"
The two behemoths go toe-to-toe once again and I'll take "The Hurt Locker" by a TKO.
ACHIEVEMENT IN MUSIC WRITTEN FOR MOTION PICTURES (ORIGINAL SCORE)
"Avatar", James Horner
"Fantastic Mr. Fox", Alexandre Desplat
"The Hurt Locker", Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders
"Sherlock Holmes", Hans Zimmer
"Up", Michael Giacchino
"Avatar" gets one-upped by "Up", in a mild upset.
ACHIEVEMENT IN MUSIC WRITTEN FOR MOTION PICTURES (ORIGINAL SONG)
"Almost There" from "The Princess and the Frog"
"Down in New Orleans" from "The Princess and the Frog"
"Loin de Paname" from "Paris 36"
"Take It All" from "Nine"
"The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)" from "Crazy Heart"
"The Weary Kind" isn't just a good nominated song. It's good enough to be a hit.
ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND EDITING
"Avatar"
"The Hurt Locker"
"Inglourious Basterds"
"Star Trek"
"Up"
"Avatar". I'm already getting sick of watching people associated with the film celebrating, and the show hasn't even begun yet.
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
"District 9", Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
"An Education", Screenplay by Nick Hornby
"In the Loop", Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche
"Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire", Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher
"Up in the Air", Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner
Clooney's peeps get one, but that might be the only one.
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
"The Hurt Locker", Written by Mark Boal
"Inglourious Basterds", Written by Quentin Tarantino
"The Messenger", Written by Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman
"A Serious Man", Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
"Up", Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy
The Basterds take it and I can't help but wonder how funny it would be if Basterds smacked the big guys on other fronts, as well.
ACHIEVEMENT IN DIRECTING
"Avatar", James Cameron
"The Hurt Locker", Kathryn Bigelow
"Inglourious Basterds", Quentin Tarantino
"Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire", Lee Daniels
"Up in the Air", Jason Reitman
This one is funny because Cameron and Bigelow were husband and wife. No matter how much each would downplay it, it adds a great dimension to the moment the envelope is opened. I'll guess Bigelow because no woman has ever won the award, a fact that I had not known until I recently read it.
BEST MOTION PICTURE OF THE YEAR
"Avatar"
"The Blind Side"
"District 9"
"An Education"
"The Hurt Locker"
"Inglourious Basterds"
"Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire"
"A Serious Man"
"Up"
"Up in the Air"
And the winner for Best Motion Picture of the Year goes to (drum roll) "The White Ribbon". Oh, I forgot, it's not nominated. Who knows if it will be "Avatar" or "The Hurt Locker"? Gut says Avatar will be viewed as a cartoon and Locker will take it, but wouldn't it be funny if a Basterd got it?
After you use my selections you can sit back and watch the envelopes torn open and scream with delight as I deliver you winner after winner.
