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Nein

In 2002, director Rob Marshall successfully reinterpreted the movie musical with his Oscar-winning version of the Broadway hit, "Chicago". The film featured musical numbers that were artfully integrated with the film's narrative, and included a cast of performers not necessarily considered song-and-dance (wo)men. Marshall tries to repeat the success of "Chicago" with a big-screen version of the musical "Nine", based on the film "8 1/2" by Federico Fellini. Armed with a large cast of international award-winners, Marshall proves that more is sometimes less.

"Nine" is the story of Guido Contini (Daniel Day-Lewis), a Fellini-esque Italian director suffering from a serious bout of director's block. Days away from the start of production on his latest film (ambitiously titled "Italia"), Guido has no script and absolutely no idea what he's going to shoot. Escaping Rome for a seaside retreat, he plunges headlong into a midlife crisis. As his life and career unravel, he begins to see himself through the eyes (well, songs, actually) of the women he has known throughout his life. 

As Guido's ladies, Marshall pulls together a cast of big-name actresses and scores of chorus girls to dance and sing their way through Guido's life: Judi Dench (the confidante), Nicole Kidman (the muse), Marion Cotillard (the wife), Penelope Cruz (the mistress), Fergie (the whore), Sophia Loren (the mother) and Kate Hudson (the free spirit). As in "Chicago", the splashy production numbers are interwoven with the story — an empty sound stage providing the excuse and the backdrop for many of the numbers. But rather than continuing the story, each song is — literally — a show-stopper. And not in a good way. As each character belts his or her way through a cheesy, bombastic solo, the story screeches to an absolute halt. Unlike the wry sophistication of Kander & Ebb's "Chicago" score, the music of "Nine" sounds hopelessly dated and one-dimensional. It's a relic of the early 80s when "Nine" was first staged — the not-so-golden age of Broadway. Even the three new numbers, written by Maury Yeston, drip with the kind of musical cliches that shows like "The Simpsons" regularly parody. Hudson's homage to Italian cinema, "Cinema Italiano" is particularly grating.

Though much of the music is annoying and substandard, many of the actresses trying their musical chops are rather impressive. Dench seems to have a good time with showy, "Folies Bergere", while Cruz sexes up "A Call from the Vatican".  Fergie — as the town prostitute, Saraghina — shows off an impressive set of er, pipes with the best number of the bunch, "Be Italian", though Kidman — the only one with any movie musical experience — turns in a completely bland and forgettable "Unusual Way". Loren's presence is merely a token — albeit a gloriously well-tanned token. The best performance is given by Cotillard, who wisely approaches her numbers like an actress, not a singer (though she has a fine voice). Her performance as Luisa — Guido's long-suffering wife — is the most fully-realized and interesting of the film. It doesn't hurt that her expressive eyes call to mind Fellini's real life wife and star, Giulietta Masina.

Between the elaborately staged numbers, Marshall plays with the styles of Italian cinema in the 50s and 60s. Switching between black and white / color, handheld and crane shots, he mixes up styles with references to Fellini and other auteurs of the Italian New Wave. Unfortunately, it's all style and no substance, only serving to create more confusion around the film's unfocused center, Guido.

Despite a solid singing voice and the ideal frame for skinny silk suits, Day-Lewis is woefully miscast. Subdued and contemplative, he keeps his strangely clipped Italian accent to barely a murmur, shrugging his way through the non-musical scenes. During the lavishly staged numbers, Guido merely stands to the side, an observer whose disinterested gaze is interrupted only by the occasional smirk or the blaze of a fresh cigarette. While Day-Lewis may have learned Italian for this role, he neither speaks it nor presents anything that remotely evokes anything "italiano." The fiery passions and consummate cool that seemed to seethe under the skin of Marcello Mastroianni's Guido in "8 1/2" are barely allowed to simmer here. Too cerebral, too guarded, Day-Lewis practically recedes into the background. Since Guido is, in fact, the center of this story, his absence creates a veritable black hole, sucking the life from the rest of the film. 

Movie musicals (unless produced by the Disney company) are always risky in this day and age. Stunt casting and spectacle can only go so far. Shabby songs, muddled direction and a shambling script — written by Michael Tolkin ("The Player") and the late Anthony Minghella ("The English Patient") — can't make a silk purse out of a tin ear. Overlong, flabby and unfocused, "Nine" is woefully tone-deaf.