2 Fast 2 Furious Review
By Joe Lozito
2 Stupid 4 Words
"2 Fast 2 Furious" gets one star, and that star is named Tyrese. In a literal pit of talentlessness, Tyrese comes out looking like a regular Olivier. Filling in for Vin Diesel as the ethnic counterpart to Paul Walker's whiter-than-white-bread cop-turned-street-racer, the Guess? model and platinum-selling artist manages to capture some of the humor and macho swagger which made 2001's "The Fast and the Furious" work reasonably well. However, with a balsa wood plot that is amazingly credited to three writers and no characters or suspense to speak of, Tyrese is stranded in this low-octane sequel.
Even Fox's "Furious" rip-off "Fastlane" comes up with better plots and deeper characters than this mess. I imagine 2F2F's writers passing a notepad around the table each contributing a sentence until they hit 100 pages. There are quite literally scenes in this movie that make no sense. You're left wondering "why did I just watch those three people playing cards for five minutes?" Here's a movie in which the idea of flirtatious dialogue is "that's some artistic sh-t". And don't even get me started on its use of the word "bro" which - like the F-word to Mamet or the N-word to Tarantino - punctuates every line in the film.
If you bother following nothing else in the plot, at least understand that it has something to do with a drug dealer who hires our two heroes (Walker and Tyrese) to drive money from Miami to the Keys. This way when you see them gear up for that final run, you'll know, as my friend so aptly put it, there's "just one more chase and then we can go home".
Amid all the speeding, drug dealing and gunplay, the only real crime here is committed by John Singleton. How could the man who burst into the industry as one of our most promising young directors with 1991's "Boyz N the Hood" have come to this? Sure, "Rosewood" and "Poetic Justice" were disappointing, and his remake of "Shaft" was a waste of time, but "Baby Boy" (also starring Tyrese) was darn good. Not only does Singleton bring none of his style to the film but he actually manages do no more or less than Rob Cohen had already done in the 2001 original.
With the exception of Tyrese, there is quite literally no one in this movie who can hold the attention of the audience. It's an astounding fact made all the worse by Keanu-clone Walker's adamant refusal to learn how to act. It's fascinating to watch a guy who becomes less and less interesting the more he tries to concentrate. Floating through the film as though he's reading his lines for the first time, Walker is the definitive pretty-boy airhead. Somehow, despite all the car chases, the movie is not over fast enough, and the only thing furious will be the audience after paying 10 bucks for this nonsense.
