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Dead Ball

In the 1980s and 1990s, Carlos Kaiser was one of the most famous soccer players in Brazil. Is it really a big deal if he never actually played soccer?

Carlos Henrique Raposo (Kaiser's given name) was the handle his parents gave him but he never had much use for that. He preferred Kaiser, and because he was a good-looking fellow who enjoyed strolling the beaches of Rio in a Speedo and charming the local girls, Kaiser just suited his ego better.

Somehow he managed to convince almost everyone that he was also a world-class soccer player. There have been lots of stories of people pretending to be outstanding in a field that they never participated in. What makes this one a bit different is that some knew he was a phony but didn't care, at least some of them because they got caught in the deluge of the beautiful women drawn to him.

Remember also that there was no Internet back then, so it was difficult to track down the truth of his claims. Whenever Kaiser felt it was time to skip town and run his scam elsewhere, he would feign an injury in practice and split to another team. Then he would have papers forged to prove he played for this or that club.

By far the most interesting part of the film - one could argue the only interesting part - is Kaiser's experience at Bangu, a small club in the West Zone of Brazil. At that time they were owned by Castor de Andrade, Brazil's premier bichiero (operator of an illegal gambling game).

After Kaiser signed on with Cantor, he quickly claimed he was hurt, yet again. Castor didn't care because Kaiser constantly brought beautiful women to pleasure Castor, so when Kaiser's contract expired, Castor re-signed him.

Near the end of the film, an older Kaiser tries to play upon our heartstrings by telling us of his horrid personal life and upbringing. It would be impossible for it to sound more hollow than it does. There are about 15 good minutes in the entire film. That leaves 83 minutes worth very little. A red card for this one.