The Film
Is nothing sacred? Apparently not Jem and the Holograms. This is the latest 80s franchise that Hollywood has plucked from our childhood and the Netflix archives, only to crap all over it.
In this theatrical reboot, the classic cartoon was so made over for a new audience, it doesn't really resemble its former self. That may be a good thing, but it still bears the Jem and the Holograms name. And that probably means we'll never get another Jem and the Holograms movie -- or any other movie about a kick-ass all-female supergroup.
That's because Jem and the Holograms did so poorly at the box office, Universal pulled it from theaters after just two weeks. Yes, they weren't looking to embarrass themselves any further. Now, the studio is probably hoping you have a morbid curiosity, but is it morbid enough to actually purchase the Jem and the Holograms Blu-ray?
I certainly hope not. Because instead of making a film about girl power, Jem dumbs down a good premise for an audience that may be too busy looking at their smartphones to even notice. Back in the day, Jem wasn't just a rock star, but a rock star business owner. She was a role model, dammit. In today's day and age, that translates into an accidental success story, who is pouty and slightly boring.
In this update, the orphaned Jerrica (Nashville's Aubrey Peeples) becomes an overnight YouTube sensation that countless quick-clicking fans only know as "Jem." She doesn't seem all that receptive of her newfound stardom, but she needs cashola. Otherwise, Jerrica, her sisters, and her Aunt Bailey (Molly Ringwald, in case you weren't feeling old enough) will end up out on the street. Jem snags a deal with Starlight Records, but evil exec Erica Raymond (Juliette Lewis) seems way more interested in manufacturing a celebrity than making any sort of original music.
At one point, Erica tells the band this is a chance to reinvent themselves. Sadly, they did not reinvent themselves into Jem and the Holograms. It's sort of funny that the film's main characters are all about being original when the movie is anything but that. The film does have nice themes about family, but it drags a lot. I miss the show's originality, as well as the fantasy, the attitude, and the stories. Even poor Synergy is reduced to 51N3RG.Y (it's pronounced the same), which looks like a mini Wall-E with a built-in movie projector. Those tunes are catchy, though.
If you're a fan of the 80s cartoon or even comic books, Jem and the Holograms is a bit of a kick in the face -- and quite the long one, at 119 minutes.
The Picture
The image is one area where Jem does not disappoint. With the exception of those YouTube clips running throughout the movie, this 2.40:1 transfer is filled with tons of bright colors and sharp imagery. Costumes and makeup are definitely the standouts here, but the varied facial details and skintones in the cast do show off a lot of detail as well.
The Sound
Jem and the Holograms is like a big music video, so it shouldn't be too surprising that this DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 track sounds quite nice. Dialogue is clear throughout and there are also plenty of atmospheric sounds sprinkled around. Of course, the music is the star here. It absolutely fills the surrounds when it shows up in the movie (and it does that a lot). That moment where the power goes out during one of Jem's pop-up concerts is a standout moment too, with the crowd's sharp, synchronized clapping echoing throughout the entire soundfield.
The Extras
Producer/director Jon M. Chu seems like a total super fan. It may not seem like it, but the guy supposedly spent 10 years working on this movie. He also sits down for a solo, full-length film commentary track. That's the meatiest extra here. Otherwise, the disc has deleted scenes, a gag reel, one music video, and a 10-minute featurette about the making of the film. The best part about that short is that you do hear Chu's enthusiasm. There's also a quickie glimpse at Christy Marx, the show's creator, who also cameos in the film.
Final Thoughts
It's obvious that Jem and the Holograms is made for an audience that's never seen Jem and the Holograms. The Blu-ray does pop with bright colors and an equally perky soundtrack, but it's definitely lacking in the extras section. It would have been nice if Universal included a few of the classic cartoons on this release. Maybe they thought people would realize that this movie has no business calling itself Jem and the Holograms. The name and presence of pink are pretty much the only similarities seen here. And it's not just that the movie only "nods" to its source material, but at 119 minutes, Jem and the Holograms is just way too long. You've been warned -- a lot.
Product Details
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