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Caricatures on parade

A recipe for a film that tries awfully hard to be quirky goes something like this: Take one snarly, obnoxious, arrogant professor. Give him two teenagers that are both very bright. One is especially brilliant and every bit as annoying as her father. Add an ex-student who is now a physician that once had a schoolgirl crush on the idiot. Finally, inject a good for nothing but likeable brother of the professor to help everyone find their way. Cue the caricatures.

Professor Wetherhold (Dennis Quaid) is a recent widower who talks down to his students, peers, and anyone else who is unlucky enough to cross his path. In reality we all do know, or at least have met, a similar windbag that has been lucky enough to find a woman so I suppose it is not really all that impossible. His son is fairly normal but his daughter, Vanessa (Ellen Page), is a senior in high school that is an absolute clone of her father's personality. Chuck (Thomas Haden Church) is his adopted brother that drops back into their lives as we are informed he periodically does. It is hard to imagine anyone being more of a creep than the professor. Yet, somehow he did find a woman willing to marry him and bear his children. We never find out how she died but one would suspect it was suicide after she finally came to her senses.

Dr. Hartigan (Sarah Jessica Parker) is the doctor who meets up with the professor in the emergency room after he takes a fall and smacks his head. He doesn't remember her but it's not the fall on his head that causes this. He remembers almost no one he has ever met because of his utter disdain for everyone. They are not worth remembering. She lets him know what a creep he was to her in her college days and still is and then of course accepts his offer for a date.

Now that all of the pieces are in place, it is time for mass redemption. Vanessa will emerge from her self-imposed aloneness, with the help of Uncle Chuck. Chuck will also manage to bring a new perspective on life to his brother and everybody will be happy, happy, happy. Cue the barf bags.

It is worth mentioning the acting in "Smart People" if only because Ellen Page does a great job as Vanessa. She has a presence, charm, and sexiness that manages to shine through her miserable character. It made me remember the first time I saw Natalie Portman in "The Professional". Page has already done a star turn in "Juno" so I'm not divulging anything all that prophetic when I say that she might become a major force, like Portman did. Dennis Quaid does what is asked of him. Thomas Haden Church reprises, at least to some degree, his role in "Sideways". Ms. Parker proves once again that she generates very little in the way of believability or sexuality. This is one professor that should have gotten lost on "Gilligan's Island".