Shoot 'Em Up Review
By Joe Lozito
Shots and Giggles
It must be liberating to make a movie that has no aspirations but to provide ridiculous, non-stop, over-the-top action. For examples, see the collected works of Luc Besson and/or Jason Statham - a catalog of films whose quality decreases proportionally with the number of letters in the titles ("The Transporter", "Crank", "War"). Unhindered by pesky trivialities like plot, believability and sense, these films are like energetic puppies nipping at your heels begging for attention. "Shoot 'Em Up" - from writer-director and James Bond fanatic Michael Davis - lacks the style of ultra-violent classics like "El Mariachi" or "Hard Boiled", but there's no denying the inventiveness of the gunplay (John Woo, an obvious inspiration and the genre's godfather, would be proud). With its single-minded obsession with all things triggered, "Shoot" is a blast before its ammo is spent.
Armed with a plot culled from any number of past action vehicles - a loner must reluctantly protect a newborn baby from a relentless, unending parade of baddies - Mr. Davis sets out to realize his childhood dream of making a film which is essentially one never-ending gunfight. In order to accomplish such a feat, he sets up a cat-and-mouse game between our stoic hero named solely "Mr. Smith" (with apologies, one would think, to the recent Brangelina remake) and our increasingly frustrated villain "Mr. Hertz" (Get it? He
hertz people). In essence, the script is a string of shoot-outs and getaways, followed by those typical moments when the villain magically figures out where the hero's hiding (my favorite: knowing that the baby needs feeding, Hertz proclaims, "Get me every wet nurse, lactating hooker and mammary-on-tap in this city!"). As uttered by Paul Giamatti, who plays Hertz like an actor unchained, this corker is nearly worth the price of admission.
The press materials bill Mr. Smith as "the angriest, most hard-boiled man in the world", but really, wouldn't you know it, he's just an old softy. Sure, he likes to shoot the things that annoy him (guys with ponytails, people who don't signal when they change lanes), but once he spends some time with that little poo-making bundle of joy, he's a changed man. Clive Owen plays Smith as if he's letting out all his pent up aggression from
"Children of Men". In fact, this character - with his crumpled sweater and standard-issue trench coat - could be that previous film's alter ego, substituting a newborn for the pregnant woman. Or maybe I'm thinking of Mr. Owen's role in
"Sin City". The bottom line is, the actor could play this role in his sleep - and he does it with snarling, carrot-chewing (it's good for the eyesight) gusto.
"Shoot" isn't the first film to tenderize violence with the introduction of a youngster (for more serious examples, see Mr. Besson's own "The Professional" or even "Aliens", among others). And with the beautiful Monica Bellucci along for the ride as Smith's surrogate wife (she's the prostitute with that certain ability, in case you didn't guess), who can blame him for lightening up? One thing's for sure, "Shoot" features the most resilient newborn ever put to film. Just watch as he's yanked from a spinning carousel and generally carried around like a football. And with all that shooting, this kid's due for some serious hearing issues down the road. It used to be that expectant mothers were warned off of horror movies. But new parents may want to avoid "Shoot 'Em Up" instead.
Of course that assumes any of this movie should be taken seriously. And none of it should. Not one iota. From the opening gunfight during childbirth (marvel as the spent shells cleverly bounce off mom's belly), through the coital firefight (you read that right) and finishing off with midair gunplay with paratroopers, Mr. Davis makes it clear that he aims to kill more than just the bad guys, he wants your suspension of disbelief dead as well. Happily, the writer-director steers clear of any truly emotional (re: sappy) moments which might bore his target audience. For those people, the ones who go to the theater to see "Shoot 'Em Up" - like the ones who lined up for
"Snakes on a Plane" - they won't be disappointed. "Shoot 'Em Up" can be accused of many things - stupidity, misogyny, the death of American film as we know it - but false advertising is not one of them.
