Big Picture Big Sound

Aren't there any Earthlings worth adopting?

I think there has been some mistake. I saw a film called "Martian Child" last night in a place that exhibits first-run films for the general public. I saw it on the big screen, yet everything about it screamed "made for television." Was I hallucinating? Was I on Mars? What happened?

I confess that before I went to see it I was very leery for two reasons. The first was that the trailers hinted that it was a "try and make you cry" exercise, and my one hanky is at the cleaners. The second was that the trailers for "Martian Child" have been around for a very long time which makes me wonder whether this is one of those films that has been re-edited a few times because focus groups were unhappy with it in preview. Perhaps the film-makers have been in and out of the editing room searching for the gem of a film hidden somewhere in the endless reels. They didn't find it. Had I seen it myself in an early preview I would have advised them to send it straight to DVD.

David (John Cusack) is a writer of science fiction - most notably the writer of a book on Mars that is in production as a big-time film. But David is unhappy due to the recent death of his wife. He is empty inside and needs to fill that enormous hole. This makes him decide to explore adopting a child, but not just any child. David wants to adopt a child born on Mars. Not really. Well, maybe.

The "Martian" kid, named Dennis (Bobby Coleman), lives in an orphanage with a bunch of other more "normal" kids. Dennis spends his entire days inside of a cardboard box from Amazon.com. Nice product placement. More product placements follow with a big shout out to Lucky Charms. Apparently Dennis hides in the box because it is much brighter here on Earth than on his home planet of Mars. It is clear that Dennis' problems can be easily cured by a caring single parent who has never met him before. Sure they can.

David and Dennis set out on their inevitable journey of self-awareness, both of them growing and helping the other grow. Isn't that saccharine sweet? There are a few interesting and touching moments along the way but not enough to hold the film together. I must give credit to Bobby Coleman, though. He is either a very gifted young actor, or his personality is close in reality to the character he is portraying. Or maybe he really is from Mars? But then shouldn't this technically be a documentary?

"Martian Child" is directed by Menno Meyjes, a fellow born in Holland who I know very little about. I doubt you know his work either. If "Martian Child" is an accurate indicator of what we should expect from Mr. Meyjes we probably won't have to devote much time thinking about him in the future. I'm sure this film would (will?) be a winner of something when it airs at the Martian equivalent of the Sundance festival, but here on Earth, I'm afraid it won't fare as well.