Planet of the Apes Review
By Mark Grady
"Apes" Misbehavin'
Tim Burton's sad reinterpretation of the venerable "Planet of the Apes" series succeeds in only one thing - it demonstrates all the things that have gone wrong with the summer blockbuster. Never having been known for powerful acting or thoughtful screenplays, this genre used to be a reliable provider of smart action, impressive stuntwork, and non-stop excitement.
Burton, true to his reputation for flouting the Hollywood convention, has provided none of these.
The most glaring problem with this movie is the utter and complete lack of even remotely intelligent writing. One is left wondering whether the scriptwriter understood the point of the original films. Beyond the baffling decision to make the humans in the movie capable of speech (thus removing the central analogy of the original series), the script fails to give them anything to say anyhow. There is no feeling that there is resentment for their plight, nor is there a suggestion that they have done anything to avoid it.
The actors further the problem by bringing nothing to their roles. Mark Wahlberg shows none of the on-screen charisma that has been central to his career to date, Helena Bonham Carter shoves an extremely misplaced sensuality at both Wahlberg and the audience, and Tim Roth chooses this, of all movies, to give a subdued performance.
The special effects are also a disappointment. The much-ballyhooed ape make-up shows little improvement over the original 'Planet of the Apes' and the scenes in space are far below what an audience should expect. The movements and behavior of the apes also have the appearance of having been fairly slap-dash. Either due to lack of direction or lack of comprehension, the actions of the apes are not at all consistent - both specific to characters and within the species / society. It seems as though the choreographer passed out copies Jane Goodall's journal and told the actors to run with it.
The less said about the "surprise" ending, the better.
The only bright spot is brought to the movie by none other than Charlton Heston, courtesy of a cameo that pokes fun at both the original film and (perhaps unintentionally) his beloved NRA.
Forget this movie and go out and buy a copy of the original.
