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Resurrectile Dysfunction

The latest installment in the "Mummy" series, "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor", finds our familiar heroes, Rick and Evelyn O'Connell (Brendan Fraser and Maria Bello), uncomfortably settled into a retirement full of mansions, butlers, and unfulfilling pastimes. Longing for the excitement of their previous exploits they fairly jump at the chance to accept an assignment from [GOVERNMENT AUTHORITY] to deliver [DANGEROUS RELIC] to [EXOTIC LOCALE].  Once there they, of course, inadvertently resurrect an ancient Chinese emperor of unimaginable power (the word "mummy" is used more loosely this time around) who, of course, plans to take over the world.

While the previous "Mummy" movies used a similar formula to decent effect, "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor", manages to be disappointing in nearly every way.  Brendan Fraser ("George of the Jungle", "Journey to the Center of the Earth"), who at this point is to be expected to smash his way through both scenery and dialogue, is not grounded by any of his costars, particularly Luke Ford, who plays his estranged son Alex. Mr. Ford, who may as well have been CGI'd in post-production, mixes the heart of the tin man with the depth of Jar-Jar Binks. Mario Bello ("Coyote Ugly", "A History of Violence"), taking over for Rachel Weisz who wisely opted out of the role, gamely tries to re-create the wide-eyed innocence and sense of fun brought to the role by her predecessor, but ultimately winds-up falling back on toothy smiles and adoring looks at Mr. Fraser.

With this movie, Hollywood also continues its trend of having no idea of what to do with Jet Li ("Romeo Must Die", "The One"). Saddled with the role of the titular emperor, the unfortunate actor spends the majority of his time either standing menacingly or buried under clay-mation make-up (sometimes both at the same time, to his credit). While there seems to be wide consensus that there is a great Hollywood role out there for him somewhere, this certainly isn't it.

Of course, all of this would be somewhat forgiven if the story came to the screen as a well-paced action movie, complete with exciting chase scenes, well-choreographed fight sequences, and an overarching sense of danger and urgency. Thanks largely to director Rob Cohen ("The Fast and the Furious", "xXx"), who should know how to shoot action by now, it delivers none of those things. The character scenes are bogged-down by overblown and unnecessary exposition and the action scenes are a thoroughly distracting and poorly-managed mess. In fairness, some of the blame should also go to screenwriting team Alfred Gough and Miles Millar ("Shanghai Noon", "Herbie Fully Loaded"). To say that this script is lazy would be an overstatement – suffice it to say that on three separate occasions the story is moved forward by the helpful phrase, "The Yeti can help us."

On the whole, this "Mummy" has the feel of a project that no one really wanted to work at. While there are some impressive set pieces, nice cinematography, and serviceable special-effects, there is no sense of effort to the film as a whole. In that same spirit it is probably best watched (if possible by mistake) some rainy Sunday afternoon when nothing else is on. And be prepared to forget the experience of watching it almost as fast as the cast and crew probably forgot the experience of making it.