The Sitter Review
By Karen Dahlstrom
Nanny Slam
In "The Sitter", Jonah Hill stars as Noah, a 20-something college dropout obliged to take a job babysitting a group of irascible kids. Things go awry (as they must), and they end up on a wild night in the city that will change their lives. Sound familiar? That's because "The Sitter" rehashes every babysitting movie cliche ever, to the point of making "Adventures in Babysitting" look like "Citizen Kane". It's main saving grace is that it clocks in at a mere 81 minutes.
What makes "The Sitter" different from, say, "The Pacifier", is the addition of profanity, drug use and sex. It doesn't make it any more enjoyable. Noah is the prototypical slacker, spending his days in front of the TV or trying to woo his "friend", Marisa (Ari Graynor), a miserable piece of work who is merely stringing Noah along. His divorced mom (Jessica Hecht) nags him to get a job and help out around the house, but Noah's pretty settled in his indolence.
When his mom gets the rare chance for a night out with friends, Noah reluctantly fills in for the friends' sitter. He's faced with basketcase Slater (Max Records, "
Where the Wild Things Are"), budding celebutante Blithe (Landry Bender), and adopted troublemaker Rodrigo (Kevin Hernandez). Things go relatively smoothly at first, in that Noah co-opts the TV and threatens violence if the kids don't behave. Then a call from Marisa, promising a night of sex (in exchange for cocaine), puts things in motion.
Charming.
Noah piles the kids in the mini-van and they venture into Brooklyn, to pick up some "candy" from Karl (Sam Rockwell), a psychotic drug dealer with a muscle man fetish. When Rodrigo steals some of Karl's stash hidden in a painted dinosaur egg (yeah, really), Noah and the kids find themselves on the run from Karl and his muscle-bound goons. On the way, they encounter street thugs, corrupt cops, and face Noah's deadbeat dad. There is also some hugging and learning, not that it matters, really.
Jonah Hill is an engaging enough actor, but "The Sitter" is so flimsy, it hardly seems worth the effort. Even "
Get Him to the Greek", another babysitting film of sorts, was more of a showcase for Hill. First-time scribes Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka pack the script with so many easy stereotypes and cheap jokes, it's a surprise it isn't a Rob Schneider vehicle.
Most disappointing is the direction from David Gordon Green, who began his career with interesting, acclaimed films like "George Washington", "All the Real Girls" and "Snow Angels", and has descended into schlockitude with dreck like "
Your Highness". Even "
Pineapple Express" has its own artistic merit, but "The Sitter" is just horribly lazy. At least he was merciful enough to keep it short. I can't imagine spending one more minute in that mini-van.
