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Nazi Rodents Sing, Dance, and Burn Toys

Andrey Konchalovskiy's version of "The Nutcracker in 3D" is one of the most absolutely bizarre films I have ever seen, and not in a good way. Tchaikovsky's ballet has been adapted into what is supposedly holiday viewing for the little tykes. The hope is that you will take the whole brood to see it during the Thanksgiving season and, because of word-of-mouth, it will shine all the way through Christmas and into the heights occupied by greats like "The Wizard of Oz". Disney must be shaking in their boots - in this case the storm trooper kind - because this is such a crazy piece of garbage that I could see it causing protests. Not that it deserves protests; it deserves to be ignored.

The setting is 1920s Vienna, and Mary (Elle Fanning), a young well-to-do little girl, has received a gift from her Uncle Albert (Nathan Lane), who it seems might be Albert Einstein. Why? I'm not sure. I felt sorry for Mr. Lane to be caught in this travesty, but he took the cash so he is as responsible as everyone else. The gift is a nutcracker. Mary's brother, Max (Aaron Michael Drozin), is a total brat who immediately breaks the nutcracker. He likes to break toys.

Mary goes to sleep, upset with her brother, but awakens to the nutcracker having come to life. In reality, he is a prince that is under a curse, and he enlists Mary's help to fight off the evil Rat King (John Turturro). You see, the town rodents have come to life as semi-human beings and they plan on enslaving the helpless townspeople. It all goes off-the-cliff weird when the soldiers turn out to be clad in Nazi uniforms. There are no swastikas, but rest asssured, they are supposed to be Nazis. Instead of burning Jews in ovens, these rats are burning all of the children's toys in ovens. Really, I'm not kidding.

When the Nazi rodents appeared, I quickly scanned the audience at my screening for reactions. The little kids were obviously unaware, so they were content to munch their popcorn and be otherwise bored to tears. The adults either didn't notice or didn't care. It reminded me of "The Producers", when they tried to come up with a musical about Hitler, with the intention of the play flopping miserably, and stealing the money of the play's investors. That was played as comedy and was brilliant. This Nutcracker is played as family entertainment and not as comedy. My reaction to what I witnessed is akin to the audience's initial reaction within "The Producers". Their mouths hung open in disbelief. I don't find "The Nutcracker in 3D" to be offensive socially. It's offensive to the history of filmmaking.