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Tied up in 'Bots

There are some interesting ideas rattling around inside "Surrogates", Jonathan Mostow's serviceable graphic novel adaptation, and they're all packed into the first five minutes. During an impressively expository title sequence, we are brought up-to-speed on the events of the past fourteen years. It seems the pursuit of brain-controlled artificial limbs has led to the invention of full-sized prosthetic bodies that can leave the house and perform daily tasks while their human owners (or "operators") lay at home on comfortable recliners wearing high-tech goggles. In the fourteen years since the introduction of these "surrogates", human beings have stopped going outside. Crime, racism and disease have all but vanished (for some reason). Only a radical splinter group of humans (called "Dreads") protests the surrogates, but they've been relegated to small, sovereign reservations scattered throughout the world.

And that's all before the opening credits end. It is truly an impressive piece of storytelling hooey, told with virtuoso skill by Mr. Mostow. After directing 2003's "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines", Mr. Mostow is no stranger to filming cyborgs. In "Surrogates", the human avatars are all shot with a soft-focus sheen which effectively sets them apart from reality. The few actual humans (or "meatbags", as they're called) are shown in all their pale, pasty, unshaven glory. It's a nice touch in an otherwise unremarkable production.

The problem is that the film itself is a surrogate; it's a rote whodunit masquerading as a techno-thriller. It all starts with the murder of a young party-boy at a club. The FBI agents assigned to the case (Bruce Willis and Radha Mitchell), discover that a nasty weapon was used which not only fried the surrogate but the operator as well. The hunt commences to locate the killer and, more importantly, find this new weapon that could end surrogate supremacy and force humans to (gasp!) go outside again. Along the way there are the requisite twists and double-crosses, and Mr. Willis is typically sturdy as the bruised, brooding action hero. It all comes down to a climax that, I kid you not, revolves around a character yelling, "Hit 'enter'! Hit 'enter'!"

The script, by "T3" scribes Michael Ferris & John D. Brancato, hints at a larger untapped terrorism metaphor (with a helicopter crash within Dread territory), but sticks to light satire - an Xtreme Football poster shows a player holding a severed head; an army colonel calls war "a peacekeeping operation". There's also some fun had with the inherent kinkiness of the premise - overweight men with busty blonde surrogates; streets full of flawless model-types. I can only imagine the graphic novel, by Robert Venditti and Brett Weldele, went even further. The reality would likely be even further than that. But it wouldn't be as all-encompassing as "Surrogates" would have you believe.

For any of this to work, you need to not only buy the idea that humans don't want to go outside, but you also need to imagine a world where nearly every human has bought into the idea (and can afford it). And that one company (VSI, "Virtual Self Industries") controls it all. I mean, really, why would I have a surrogate go to the office for me and sit at a desk all day? Wouldn't telecommuting and Instant Messenger be quicker and cheaper?

Perhaps the most believable aspect of the future in "Surrogates" is that we appear to be no closer to saving the environment: for almost every human there's now another human-sized pile of plastic. Nice work, people. As a side note, it's interesting that James Cromwell plays the creator of the surrogate technology. He also invented the robots in "I, Robot". Coincidence? I think not.

To its credit, as you leave the theater, the movie will stay with you for a short time. You'll look around the streets and think, "wait, these people are real, right?" And for a minute, you may wish you could've sent a surrogate to see the film in your place.