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Aggravating a "Salt"

There's a whole lot that's unlikely about the Angelina Jolie actioner "Salt". For starters, with its Soviet-sleeper-cell plot, it's a wonder it got made at all. But I suppose with Ms. Jolie attached, in "Tomb Raider" mode, anything's possible. It's a shame then that the actress - who toggles between action-heroine and Oscar contender at a whim - looks so woefully thin. With so little meat on her bones (most seems relegated to her lips), seeing her taking down bad guys feels a little (here we go) unlikely.

The script, by Kurt Wimmer, might have been unearthed from some pre-Iron Curtain time capsule. After "Sphere", "Equilibrium", "Ultraviolet" and "Law Abiding Citizen", Mr. Wimmer is amassing quite an oeuvre of stinkers. But, credit where credit's due, you have to hand it to him: he really goes for it here. The plot involves Ms. Jolie's titular CIA operative who may or may not be a double-agent (yes, triple-agent is also a possibility). Wrongfully accused (is there any other kind?), Salt is on the run from virtually every law enforcement agency in a race against time to prevent the assassination of the Russian President. Lofty goals for a summer blockbuster, indeed. Too bad Mr. Wimmer's script doesn't have the depth to back it all up. It features the type of spies that, upon revealing their true identities, immediately slip into thick Russian accents.

Since the film treads (clumsily) in Tom Clancy territory, it seems only appropriate that Phillip Noyce ("Patriot Games", "Clear and Present Danger") should direct. And he does so with let's-get-this-over-with-quick precision. The pacing is a wise choice since Salt barrels from one (yes) unlikely escape to another. It's also unlikely that this film is going to make any fans in the real-life CIA, Secret Service or NYPD. Each organization is depicted as more inept than the last - perhaps none more so than the NYPD in a particularly ludicrous escape involving a Taser.

The film is essentially one long chase sequence. Not that there's anything wrong with that. As the film's tagline ("Who is Salt?") implies, the central mystery involves our titular heroine's backstory. Of course, without knowing who she is for a majority of the film, there's very little for the audience to care about. Much has been made of the fact that the Salt character was originally written as a male hero. The gender switch does little for or against the movie. In the end, the plot is still the same.

At a time when TV shows like "24" take pains to create season-long conspiracies at the highest levels of government, it's hard to swallow such a half-baked thriller. Ms. Jolie is surrounded by a uniformly solid cast, including Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor and a criminally underused Andre Braugher, but they're mostly going through the motions (Mr. Schreiber, in particular, could do this role in his sleep). Yes, there's a lot that's unlikely about "Salt" - perhaps nothing more so than the idea that this dud could generate a franchise. With a title like "Salt", it's a shame that the film is so lacking in spice.