Piranha 3D Review
By Lora Grady
Beach Slapped
The sun is hot, the beach is inviting, and kids are flocking from all over to enjoy a couple of days of rowdy fun. The local town is expecting a big payday from those tourist dollars - but wait - there's something in the water...
Sounds like the setup of another famous summer thriller, doesn't it? But don't head out to see "Piranha 3D" expecting anything like "Jaws", as "P3D" doesn't really match the latter's tension, wit, or, dare I say it, restraint, and it's certainly not going to be a movie that people are still talking about 30-plus years from now. However, the filmmakers had fun acknowledging the debt to their movie's famous forbearer by writing a fun cameo for Richard Dreyfuss in an opening scene; and the movie's promotional poster carries on the joke, too.
"Piranha" doesn't feature any particularly sophisticated storytelling; but then, this is a toss-away summer popcorn movie, so sophistication isn't necessarily called for. The basics: the community of Lake Victoria, AZ (aka Lake Havasu) is prepping for its annual influx of spring break vacationers, and young Jake Forester (Steven McQueen) fears that he'll miss all the fun as he's taxed with babysitting his younger sister and brother. Along comes opportunity in the form Derrick Jones (Jerry O'Connell, playing it sleazy), a "Girls Gone Wild"-type producer who's in town for some filming and quickly dragoons Jake as his "location scout". Cue Jake deserting his siblings and climbing aboard Derrick's party boat, with his high school crush, Kelly (Jessica Szohr), along for the ride. Meanwhile, Jake's mom (Elizabeth Shue), who just happens to be the local sheriff, accompanies a visiting group of government scientists out to explore a crack that has opened in the lakebed following a recent earthquake. These geographic calamities never bring good news, and this time is no exception, as the horrified explorers discover that the crack has exposed an underground lake that is teeming with vicious, prehistoric piranha. And they're very hungry.
There aren't any big scares here, though there is a good, tense rescue scene and a couple of creative gross-out moments. Director Alexandre Aja previously helmed "High Tension", "Mirrors", and the 2006 remake of "The Hills Have Eyes", so he's certainly got credentials in the genre. "Actor"/director Eli Roth has a cameo, and it feels like his fingerprints are on the finished work too, in the form of excessive gore and occasional moments of winking pop-culture wit (example: whose idea was it to shoot the upending of a diving platform like the penultimate moments of the ship capsizing in "Titanic"?) The movie looks great, with bright, primary colors setting the tone of a lakeside party town and gorgeous long shots of the lake itself. The 3D effects are well integrated into the story, though occasionally the combination of 3D plus special effects plus an underwater view renders the finished scene a bit cartoony.
"Piranha 3D" has some fun moments - but it also has some sequences that look like they were more fun to film than they are to watch, and that's not a great sign (see: "
Grown Ups"). Also, it should be noted that the film contains extensive nudity, which can be uncomfortable for the unsuspecting viewer (or reviewer!). Nonetheless, as a distracting piece of summer entertainment, it might be worth a trip to the theater to see "P3D" with a noisy, enthusiastic crowd, while we're all still looking for an excuse to get away from the heat and enjoy the air conditioning.
