Figuring out where to spend your summer vacation with the kids (it's called sleepover camp), is never an easy task. We're pretty sure after viewing these horror spots that you will be reaching for the credit card the moment your better half suggests Disney World or the Grand Canyon. We've yet to hear of an incident involving Mickey Mouse and a chainsaw.
The Hills Have Eyes
In case you were wondering why they invented GPS for the car, this remake of Wes Craven's classic 1977 torture-fest is the reason why. If the Carter's blood curdling screams don't unnerve you; the rape scene certainly will. Come on out to the desert. Take the wrong side road and enjoy the pleasantries of the locals. Just don't expect to make it to Grandma's house; unless Grandma has relocated and become part of a crazed group of deformed and psychotic hillbillies. Difficult to watch and a great reason to avoid asking for directions from strangers. The lucky ones do die first.
Friday the 13th
Poor Jason Voorhees. Left unsupervised by a group of horny counselors he tragically drowns one night only to return years later as a demonic goalie-mask wearing, machete-wielding psychopathic hulk of a man. Before Jason can slice and dice his way through dozens of counselors (spoiler alert!), his mother must get her revenge first. One of the all-time most popular horror films with too many sequels to mention. Summer camp was never the same after Jason had his way with arts and crafts. If only the head counselor didn't have a golf club embedded in her face, she would have amazing campfire stories to tell.
Hostel
Director Eli Roth became an overnight cult sensation with this macabre bloody mess based in Slovakia. If you have always dreamed about backpacking across Eastern Europe, then don't watch this psychological terror before you go. You may never leave your bedroom stateside. Not only will the screaming really unnerve you, but the fear of what is around each new corner and behind each new door will leave you quite unsettled. Don't get suckered into renting the sequel; stick with this shotgun of psychological and physical terror.
Deliverance
A star-studded cast led by Jon Voight and Burt Reynolds scrapes its way through Appalachia on a camping trip gone very, very wrong. When one of their party is captured by two horny and deranged hillbillies who proceed to sodomize him, the remaining survivors must fight and crawl their way to freedom across very unfriendly terrain. Without a doubt, one of the strangest and most disturbing male bonding films ever produced. Reynolds and Voight demonstrate very early in their film careers why they would become two of the biggest stars of their time. Look for a brief cameo by Ed O'Neil as a local law enforcement officer. Squeal just because you can.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Perhaps one of the scariest films ever made with one of the most searing final images; an angry Leatherface swinging his chainsaw around and around having just missed his opportunity to finish Sunday dinner with some human dessert. Tobe Hooper's brilliant bit of filmmaking not only scared audiences with its sheer brutality, but it created a new generation of vegetarians. Watching the demented Leatherface murder each teen becomes more and more horrifying with each passing moment, and its clear that this film would become the standard for horror directors for the next thirty years.
Wolf Creek
Come on out to the outback mate. The only difference is that they will not be throwing some shrimp on the ‘barbie. Take a guess what's for dinner. Based on true events and a wonderful use of darkness to sell the terror. Why must they always scream so loudly? It's unsettling to watch seemingly sensible people get murdered in such a graphic manner. Imagine chainsaw massacre for real in the land down under with Mick Taylor the bushman standing in for Leatherface. The old broken down car trick always gets good looking travelers into a world of sadistic blood-filled trouble. The Juice was right; rent from Hertz.
Psycho
On second thought, perhaps we should have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night. Hitchcock's brilliant bit of terror with its infamous shower scene has often been imitated but never quite duplicated. The remake with Vince Vaughn offers none of the suspense or psychological impact of the original with Anthony Perkins and should be avoided at all costs. Norman Bates really wants you to meet his mother; you just don't want to meet her. If you ever wondered where the expression "rooms by the hour" came from, look no further than the Bates' Motel. Don't forget to bring your own towel, however.
National Lampoon's Vacation
Meet the Griswolds. They are your typical American family setting out on the planned summer vacation of a lifetime. The only thing getting in the way; just about everybody else on the planet. Not only must they suffer through a myriad of terrible mishaps involving everything from dead relatives on the roof of their beat-up station wagon to being dead broke, the Griswolds have to contend with one another. Chevy Chase (in one of those rare moments aside from Caddyshack where he is tolerable) stars as Clark Griswold, in this summertime classic. The late-John Candy has a brief few but funny scenes as the poor security guard taken hostage by Chase when he discovers that the amusement park is closed for renovation.
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