The Film
"In all honesty it was the most miserable experience I've ever had in my professional life."
The above is an actual quote from David Cross about Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked. He's in the film, and presumably snagged a large paycheck for this third installment in the franchise. So just imagine how you're going to feel.
It's probable that a lot of you still aren't quite over being munk'd, so getting 'wrecked is going to be the equivalent of eating bad shellfish on the Titanic. That said, Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked is now on Blu-ray, and there's nothing you can do to stop this freight train of a franchise.
Before we get into anything as silly as a plotline (and yeah, it's silly), know that Chipwrecked isn't really for anyone over the age of 6. All others can expect to be wincing in pain, and even its target audience may have a hard time keeping up with the seizure-inducing pace.
For some reason, the Chipmunks and Chipettes are traveling to the International Music Awards via a Carnivale cruise. You know, because it's so convenient. Of course, wackiness ensues and all six critters end up stranded on a desert island, with adoptive daddy Dave Seville (Jason Lee) and the group's evil rival Ian (Cross) in tow. How will the crew survive and/or get rescued?
The more important question is: Which one of the Chipmunks would you eat first, given the scenario? I'd opt to eat Jason Lee and put the poor guy out of his misery already. He looks absolutely pained to be in this film.
As if Ian wasn't enough, there's a new nemesis in Zoe, a castaway who should be sued by the makers of the film Castaway. She's a UPS worker, talks to a bunch of painted rubber balls, and is all around batshit crazy. Sound familiar? She probably looks familiar as well, since Zoe is played by Jenny Slate, who is best known for being fired from Saturday Night Live for saying the F-word live on air. Thanks to Chipwrecked, she now has a new career low, so congrats on that.
Despite the painful experience that is this film, kids are going to want to see Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked. I did let my 5-year-old watch this, and yes, he loved it. I also once let him eat candy that he found on the floor of the bus (hey, it was wrapped!), so use your own judgement.
The Picture
Expect to be wincing, walking around, and doing other things to avoid actually paying any real attention to this movie. However, on the occasions when you actually look up, you'll be pretty impressed by the film's 1.85:1 transfer. The CGI is sort of lame, but the detail on it is extremely good. The fur is detailed, the island surroundings are realistic, and the human counterparts show off a lot of facial features. The image has excellent color as well. No matter how hard you try to look away, it's bright, beautiful and extremely eye-catching.
The Sound
Like the other films, Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked tries to squeeze in a bunch of the tunes du jour, with a Chipmunk twist. Those high-pitched squeaks seem way more annoying than in the last two flicks, but the DTS-HD Master Audio track does a decent job at delivering them. The music really stands out the most, getting a full treatment through the soundfield. Some of the ambience could have been more prominent, especially during the opening ship and castaway scenes. Once on the island, though, there are a few more surround sounds, with thunder and a volcano being particular standouts.
The Extras
Chipwrecked may be a total disaster, but Fox has given it the type of extras most Blu-ray buyers would love to see on every release. There are extended scenes, a pair of Fox Movie Channel shorts, music videos, and a few other featurettes. Fans of the music (anyone?) can jump to the 18 different songs in the movie using the "Munk Music & Dance Machine," with about half of those tracks featuring on-screen, slightly less animated dance partners. Kids will eat this stuff up with a spoon. Like the film, adults will probably find little here of interest. The one standout, however, is "Going Overboard with the Chipmunks," which has producers Ross Bagdasarian and Janice Karmen talking about the cartoon's influence on this particular installment.
Final Thoughts
Unless you're the film's target audience, there's not one redeeming moment of Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked. The actual release, however, looks great, sounds great and is packed to the gills with extras. Set sail at your own risk, but better pack a life preserver or a six-pack or something.
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